How Are You Doing Today?

Why do we always ask that when we greet people? Do we really want them to give us a detailed litany of our state of health? I'm going to try a little experiment here. I'll give you all an honest answer to the title question.

I woke up at 2:30 AM this morning with a lot of gassy pain in my stomach. I took some soda, some antacid tablets, and some ginger ale, all three of which will usually stop normal indigestion in its tracks, and nothing helped. I could not lay down without a lot of pain. I added some simethicone to the mix and it had no effect. I finally managed to doze off for an hour on the couch before the alarm woke me. The pain was better but I was nauseated and shaky. Since I hadn't eaten anything new or unusual I figured that this was probably a 'stomach virus'. A dose of Pepto Bismol helped but by this time I knew that going into teaching was out of the question today. I could just see myself doubled over in the classroom with everyone wondering if this meant they wouldn't have to take the test Friday. I called in for a substitute teacher and made out lesson plans which my wife kindly offered to drop off for me. The plan was to go back to bed and get some sleep. My nasal allergies had other ideas and I suddenly started sneezing my head off. This was followed by my nasal passages completely closing up. Antihistamines and a shower opened me back up but unfortunately also woke me up. Since then I've been staggering around the house in a semi-zombielike state talking to the cats and watching some really horrible TV. I'm just waiting for that moment I will be able to collapse and get a couple of hours sleep. The good news is that the virus seems to have run its course and I am ok as far as my original problem goes. I just hope that tomorrow when I go back to work I still have an intact classroom.

Now aren't you glad I shared how I am doing with you?

Technorati Tags: Ill, Virus