Thoughts On Death

A few days have now passed since the death of Casper. Before that, we lost our bunny Sir Francis and Daddy Cat. It seems that I am forced to face death more in the past several years than in all my years previously. With enough distance now to ease some of the immediate pain, here are some ponderings on the subject.

I think it is interesting that I fight so hard to keep my loved furkids here when people around me don't understand why I don't just have them euthanized and avoid the expense. I don't have much in response to those people except scorn that they are so shallow and uncaring. I try to walk a fine line between doing everything possible to help the furkids and knowing when I can only add pain to their lives. Then it is time for me to say goodbye.

Though I know on one level that death seems to be a natural and essential part of the world there is something about it that seems to me disturbingly wrong. Loved ones should not be separated for any reason. This drives me in fighting death as much as I am capable of doing, though I know it is ultimately a futile battle. Death is my enemy and I will fight it up till my own death stops me. There can be no truce with such an uncaring monster. I despise the concept of death and think it was one of the worst concepts our Deity ever came up with.

The other day I emailed a website that had a prayer ring for pets. I expressed some of these feelings in the email and then I asked for a prayer for Casper. The website owner replied in an email that Satan causes illness and death and God is not responsible. At the end of the email there were plugs for his books about pet death. Call me cynical but I think he may have had a less than pure motive for 'helping' Casper. Also, I think that his rationale lets God off of the hook too easily. I think we 'should' challenge a system that causes so much pain and look to the source of the creation when searching for responsibility. I've always believed one should take responsibility for one's actions and I make no exceptions for that. Of course, those readers who are not religious can dismiss this paragraph as deluded ramblings. I just don't feel comfortable in claiming that 'fate' or the 'structure of the universe' should dictate that death should play a major role. I want to go to the source and find out why I am at odds with what is apparently such an integral part of life. As far as the website owner is concerned, I wrote him back and told him to save his prayers since Casper had died that day.

Even if we take away human cruelty and stupidity that causes death, we still are faced with the gradual decay and death of our loved one's bodies. As my dad used to say, that's a hell of a way to run a railroad. The bottom line here is that I think a person can find meaning and beauty in how they deal with death but there is no beauty or meaning in death itself except to move aside some so others can take their place. Death is not a friend of mine.