Webpages Updated

I took the day off and have alternately been sobbing and finishing up the Francis and Casper webpages in the link in the title of this article. Just as I finished I received an email from a stranger named Flo. I had asked Karen what state of mind Casper was in last night before his death. She said that Casper was not afraid because he and a cat named Mistletoe were fascinated with each other. She apparently kept Casper distracted until he was taken in for anesthesia. I am very thankful that he did not spend his last hour in fear. I don't think that Flo will mind me printing her email to us.

' Ken and Karen,

I saw your posting on the Yahoo site for felines with cancer. I was there last night when Casper passed. I had Mistletoe with me. She and Casper made eye contact and seemed quite content with each other. I know she will be looking for him when she gets to the Rainbow Bridge one day.

I am so sorry for your loss. We were all so upset for you. Please accept my sympathy. - Flo '

Values

Losing a furkid tends to make me reassess my whole world view and values. Let's be unscientific for a moment and examine my core beliefs based upon my 'gut feelings'. Is there a God? I think so. At least I have the feeling there is. The problem I have with the whole thing is that I take literally what I am told. In the New Testament Jesus said that what was asked for in his name would be granted. When I try to take that at face value I find that my requests that my furkids be healed are not granted. When I ask people about that they give all sorts of excuses like "God has plans for you that you do not understand." Well, I understand this. If the statement above can be taken at face value, then I am being lied to. Otherwise, something is terribly wrong with our interpretation of Biblical text. When it comes to religion and God, I just don't know what the Hell is going on, and that's the truth. I guess I will have to let God play his games and just ignore it all and do the best I can in this world. I know that this is a 'pity party' for moi but I do see how people can become atheists from experiences like these.

Casper is dead

Casper went in for his first radiation treatment this evening. When they gave him anesthesia he stopped breathing and they could not bring him back. He died at 7:30 PM.

The FCAT test

Well, we are halfway through that enormous waste of time and money called the FCAT. The kids just wasted 2 days with the reading and math sections. Next week is the science and norn referenced tests, which will waste 2 more days of teaching. Yes, that's 4 days of teaching lost to this pitiful excuse for a comprehensive test. I emailed 6 state representatives about this garbage test. Wouldn't you know that 4 of the emails bounced! They can't even keep their email buffers clear and we expect them to make decisions about education??

Our new governor Charlie Christ wants to bribe us further to teach the test by "rewarding" the 25% of teachers who best teach the FCAT with a 10% bonus. This is up from the 5% bonus that Jeb Bush wanted to bribe us with. I think I will tell Charlie where he can put my bonus. This simply disgusts me. Our county turned down the state bribe by 70% against, 30% for. In true democratic tradition we are now threatened with having to implement their program anyway, at our own expense. Why did we even bother to vote on it? When it comes to education Florida is rapidly becoming the fascist bubba mecca of the South. There's nothing like good old boy politics to completely screw up the educational system in a hurry.

Casper Update

Here is Casper lying on the couch this morning. The shaved head fur was from the MRI procedure. The blue marks were placed after a CAT scan so they can accurately target his brain tumor. Casper begins radiation treatments next Tuesday.

He has been on prednisone and was just started on mirazapine for appetite stimulation. He feels better than last week, moving around more, sunning himself in the window, and coming up to us for petting. His energy level is still limited but he seems to not be in as much discomfort. His pupils have constricted to a degree and they again react to light. The prednisone appears to have temporarily reduced the swelling and the mirazapine has boosted his spirits some. It's good to see him more relaxed. Our main hope now is that the radiation will shrink the tumor without side effects. Our oncologist said that we could expect one to one and a half years of extra time with the treatment.

The Strange People I Deal With

Today I sent one of my students to the dean's office for the 6th time in the past 8 weeks. He was disturbing the other students as they were working on an assignment. After I shooed him back to his seat and as I was writing up his discipline referral he calmly took out his cell phone and began playing a game on it. I took his phone away from him and sent him on his way after emailing the referral, updated with the phone story, to the dean.

What is wrong with this kid? He obviously values attention more than grades but he never responds to positive attention. I've tried daily to find something positive about his actions to praise in some way but he seems to delight in silly, childish behavior. I am unflappable around him but I'm sure that he pushes the buttons of those teachers with less experience. He practically lives in the dean's office these days but they won't suspend him because he wants to go home.

This student isn't stupid. When he tries he actually does quite well in class. Currently he has a 60 D- average, solely due to his being kicked out of class after performing for the group. He will probably not pass the term at the rate he is going and he doesn't seem to care. Frankly, at this point I wish the deans would send his derriere home and spare the other students his constant distractions. Sometimes you can't save a student. At that point you have to consider the wellbeing of the rest of the class. Perhaps taking the class again as a junior he will have a little more maturity and desire to make wise decisions. Until then, the office will be his second home.

Casper Update

It seems that thoughts of Casper supercedes school and all else for now. He is not eating so we have had to go to force feeding. We called the University of Florida to see why they had not contacted us to let us know if Casper would be a good candidate for their radiation procedure. They claimed that the oncologist had not sent the MRI to them and when we contacted the oncologist they claimed that they had sent the MRI and the university doctors had not read it! What a bunch of crap.

Since Casper is fading we are putting on the pressure. We called numerous times today trying to set up a radiation schedule with our oncologist. Of course both doctors had the afternoon off but we made ourselves obnoxious enough that one doctor actually contacted us and set up a CAT scan for tomorrow. She is still talking about beginning treatments next week. This is the same doctor who told me that Casper couldn't be in pain because the brain doesn't have pain receptors. Though technically this statement is true, Casper IS in pain from the increased pressure in his brain pressing upon his meninges. Perhaps she had never heard that people with conditions like meningitis do actually feel a lot of pain. I have had it with these doctors and their B.S.. They only care about the almighty dollar and good P.R.. They haven't seen obnoxious yet if they keep screwing around with Casper's life like they have been trying to do so far. For the amount that we are paying, the oncologists are frigging well going to do things quickly to benefit Casper rather than to suit their own schedules.

The Oncologist

We spent an hour at the oncologist, a very nice young girl who looks like she just got out of med school. She does seem to know her stuff. I just don't know how much she can help Casper's pituitary tumor. I saw the MRI and it is a big tumor pressing on the optic chiasma and extending down the brain. They sent off the MRI to the University of Florida to see if Casper is a candidate for stereotactic radiosurgery or if he will have to go through the 6 weeks of standard radiation. They say it will extend his life an average of 1 year. I just hope it's worth the stress and side effects to him. Meanwhile Casper is hanging in there. We got more cortisone for him and valium in case he begins having seizures.

Going Insane Without Really Trying

Our cats and bunny are our children. Most people don't understand that. They tell me that I can just get another pet if anything happens to one of mine. I am literally ill from worry about little Casper. I've stayed up the past few nights stroking his poor body while he lies next to me in bed. Despite the prednisone he is on Casper has had a couple of bad days with his brain tumor. I can tell he is in pain with it at times and other than petting him there hasn't been much I can do to help him. I can't cure him or make him feel better and it's killing me.

Casper would not eat well yesterday so we had to force feed him once. Today was a better day for him and he ate pretty well. We are trying to keep Casper going so he can make it to the oncologist consult tomorrow. Hopefully there will be something we can do to help shrink the tumor and relieve the pressure on his brain. One possibility is a "one shot" stereotactic radiosurgery treatment at the University of Florida if the tumor is not too large. At the very least I will ask about pain control for him so he can live out the last few weeks of his life in relative comfort. I don't want to give up on him and have Casper euthanized if he can gain months of time and get relief from this cancer. I do not want him to suffer but as long as he is willing to fight it I am behind him 100%. The worry, though, is driving me crazy.

Casper has cancer

A week ago our 12 year old momma's boy started having eye troubles. His pupils were both fixed and dilated. $3000 of tests later and an MRI showed a mass near the pituitary gland pressing on the optic chiasma. That was causing the eye problems. Friday we find out from the spinal tap what type of cancer it is. We see an oncologist Monday. Things look pretty grim for Casper but we are going to fight it any way we can while still giving him a decent quality of life. The tumor is inoperable. He is temporarily on prednisone to shrink the tumor.

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Brain,Cancer

Viscount Peter's Friend

It isn't everybunny who has their own stuffed bunny toy and Peter has two of them. Here is our new rabbit Peter grooming one of his little stuffed friends. How cute is that? He is settling in very nicely so far. Peter is learning a few new words and phrases now such as 'go cage', 'greenies', and 'good boy'. Learning these took a few days but he isn't a dumb bunny. Peter learned how to use his litter pan in just one day.

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Cute,Smart

My wife's visit

As my wife, the city chemist, was planning on bringing in experiments to show the kids in what I humorously call her reminder of why she is not in teaching any more, I warned her about the class she was about to visit. I told her they were 17 of the more hardcore low performance kids we have and to expect any and all types of questions. She was not disappointed. One student asked "Who is smarter, you or Mr. Albin?" She paused and stammered a little before finding her poise. Another student asked "Is this stuff in the bag crap?" I sat in the back and tried not to grin while watching Karen field one oddball question after another. At the end of the period she was visibly relieved to be finished and she hurriedly packed up to leave. I told her that the kids enjoyed her visit so much that they wanted her back next week. She gave me a shocked look and said "Not on your life!" Karen will now go back to her quiet lab for another 6 months and I will stay to educate the inquisitive munchkins.

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Visit,Teaching

ESIS Was Spawned By Satan!!

ESIS is our internet-based gradebook and attendance program. It was made by a Canadian group and if it's not directly spawned from Satan then I suspect it may be a clever way for Canadians to sabotage the American educational system.

The county school board paid $200,000 for this program. In the past 2 weeks it has been down for 4 days. When it is "working" (I'm using the word very loosely here) it will sometimes calculate grade averages incorrectly and random grades will occasionally disappear. It takes forever for the program to accept a new grade. There's more but I won't bore you.

I was up most of last night with a migraine from the stress of teaching my little darlings and dealing with the daily garbage that teachers deal with. Since the kids were off today and the school had scheduled a workshop on teaching skills I decided it would be a great time to take the day off and catch up on my sleep. Because interim report grades were due by 3 PM today I went in early this morning to dutifully input my student averages. Guess what system had crashed? Yep, ESIS. After waiting for 45 minutes and feeling my blood pressure skyrocket I called the registrar and the computer technician. Neither of them were in so I recorded a message that left no doubt I was completely pissed off. A few minutes later the computer tech called back. When he was informed that I would be leaving the campus in 15 minutes he said "It will probably take longer than that to fix the problem."

A few minutes later a voice came over the intercom telling all teachers that since the ESIS system had been acting up today we could wait until next week to input our averages for printout. Gee, it's a shame they didn't think of this the day before so I wouldn't have been sitting there at my desk with a new pounding headache. The person added that we teachers did not need to get upset over the situation.

I left school immediately so I wouldn't throw the intercom out the window. ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need a Valium.

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Satan,Stupid